Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Becoming a Mermaid

I remember the day when I stood on the shore,
So unsure of what was out there, afraid to dive in.
I dipped my toe in the water to test it, but it was too cold.
Content to feel the heat, I sat in the sun for a while.
I built a castle in the sand and played on the shore.
Until I couldn't stand it anymore.
The draw of the ocean was just too strong.

I walked back to the shore, leaving my castle behind.
How bad can it be? 
It has to be refreshing in there-
Look at all of those happy people enjoying the surf!
I wanted to know the same joy it brought them.

So I put my foot in.  It was cold, but refreshing.
And there I stood, ankle deep watching people dive and swim.
It must be great.
But what was out there?  You simply can't see from the shore.
Was I willing to risk losing myself to find out?

I waded in up to my knees.
I felt the gentle feeling of the waves pushing and pulling my legs
Back and forth.  And I stood, wondering how difficult it would be to go deeper.
But still, there was an urge to push on and dive into the refreshing waters.
I watched the sun dance and sparkle on the surface.
And I took a step.

Now I was in up to my waist.
Waves came crashing against me,
Threatening to knock me over.
I don't know what the waves have against me,
But I am tempted to turn back.
I fear getting caught in an undercurrent.
And what about sharks?

I turn back and look at the shore.
There is nothing left for me there now.
My sand castle was washed up in the surf
And I know it is hot and uncomfortable there.
Yes, my life on the shore is over.
The water around me is soothing, but dangerous.
Can I just stay here in this spot forever?

But there are a few brave ones.
They are in deep, and loving it.
There has to be more,
And now I am up to my neck in the water.
This is as far as I could possibly go.
I don't want to drown.
The ocean is so deep, so unsafe and powerful.
I feel something brush past my feet.
I am tempted to turn and run back to the shore.

I see people standing between me and the shore.
They don't look as happy as they looked
When I was standing on the shore.
There is a longing in their eyes.
Maybe they are longing to go deeper too.

The deep blue water is still drawing me like gravity.
What can it want from me now?
I am as deep as I can go without drowning.
I don't understand this need to see what's under there.
What about air?
I am about to lose myself.
Can I really do this?

I take a deep breath and put my head under the surface.
There are people swimming down there!
I wonder how they are breathing.
It isn't natural.
But the soothing water is all around me,
And I can't help but go deeper.

I close my eyes and dive in.
There is nothing there but me and the water.
It surrounds me like an embrace.
I swim and swim for what seems like an eternity.
Discovering new things I never knew existed.
How long has it been since I have come up for air?
Is is possible to stay down here forever?

I have to put my head above the water.
I look back and see so many people standing on the shore,
And in the shallow water.
And I know that right here is where I want to be.
I close my eyes and dive back in.
It doesn't matter that this doesn't make sense,
And I am still alive.
I want to be here forever.

The water is all I need.

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