Monday, January 28, 2013
Thank You For Helping The Alexander Family
Friday, January 25, 2013
A Chance to Help a Family in Need: The Alexander Family
Dear brothers and sisters in Christ,
Wednesday night, the Alexander family lost their home and almost all of their belongings in a house fire. Christopher and Darcy Alexander and their 2 teenage boys have spent the past year traveling to various churches in attempts to raise funding and support that would place them on the mission field in Budapest, Hungary. As you can imagine, this will feel like quite a setback for them. But we know that despite the attacks of Satan, our God is bigger. Our prayer is that God would use this tragedy to someway help them achieve their goal. But, in the meantime, they have a great amount of need. Here is our chance to rise up around them and be used of God to not only pray for them, but to be a part of the answer.
If you would like to donate (no amount is too small) please click the Paypal donate button to the right in the sidebar. I am hoping to get all donations to them by Monday. Please email this, share it on social networking, do whatever you can to get the word out so we can help them in a tremendous way.
God bless!
Lori
Note**if you are uncomfortable sharing via Paypal and prefer another method of giving, please feel free to contact me here or on Facebook. Paypal is a safe way to pay and in no way will I have any access to your account information if you use it. Thanks!
Wednesday night, the Alexander family lost their home and almost all of their belongings in a house fire. Christopher and Darcy Alexander and their 2 teenage boys have spent the past year traveling to various churches in attempts to raise funding and support that would place them on the mission field in Budapest, Hungary. As you can imagine, this will feel like quite a setback for them. But we know that despite the attacks of Satan, our God is bigger. Our prayer is that God would use this tragedy to someway help them achieve their goal. But, in the meantime, they have a great amount of need. Here is our chance to rise up around them and be used of God to not only pray for them, but to be a part of the answer.
If you would like to donate (no amount is too small) please click the Paypal donate button to the right in the sidebar. I am hoping to get all donations to them by Monday. Please email this, share it on social networking, do whatever you can to get the word out so we can help them in a tremendous way.
God bless!
Lori
Note**if you are uncomfortable sharing via Paypal and prefer another method of giving, please feel free to contact me here or on Facebook. Paypal is a safe way to pay and in no way will I have any access to your account information if you use it. Thanks!
Sunday, March 25, 2012
Keeping My Heart
Proverbs 4:23-27
My son, give attention to my words;
Incline your ears to my sayings.
Do not let them depart from your eyes;
Keep them in the midst of your heart;
For they are life to those who find them,
And health to all their flesh.
Keep your heart with all diligence,
For out of it spring the issues of life.
Put away from you a deceitful mouth,
And put perverse lips far from you.
Let your eyes look straight ahead,
And your eyelids look right before you.
Ponder the path of your feet,
And let your ways be established.
Do not turn to the right or the left,
Remove your foot from evil.
Today I am pondering the things I put before my eyes and the impact they have on my heart and mind. What a beautiful reminder from God's Word. Time to put aside some things that weigh my soul down and immerse it in truth.
Saturday, March 24, 2012
Tomato Rice-A Healthy Alternative to Rice-A-Roni
We love Mexican food. Not real Mexican food, American distorted Mexican food. Tacos, enchiladas, and the like. Since my journey to cook healthier, I have bemoaned pre-packaged anything. Even things you but in health food stores are made with vegetable and soy oils. Thus started the search for home made recipes to replace the Mexican rice that we all love. Of course, it is a bit more time consuming, and I highly recommend making your own stock, but it is worth it in the end! Here is a recipe I found for Tomato Rice:
2 Cups Chicken or Beef Stock
2 T. Coconut oil
1 Small onion, minced
1 C. Long-grain rice (organic if you can find it)
1 t. Salt
1/2 t. Ground Cumin
1 Medium tomato peeled, seeded and chopped (I skip the peeling and seeding and just chop away)
1 T. Tomato paste
1 T. Chopped fresh cilantro
Heat the stock until just simmering. Remove from heat, cover and set aside. Heat the oil in a large heavy saucepan. Add the onion and rice and cook over medium heat just until the onion is softened, about 5 min. Stir in salt, cumin, tomato, tomato paste, and cook for 1 minute more stirring to incorporate. Gradually add the warm stock, stirring to blend. Bring to a boil, lower heat, cover and cook until the rice is tender and all of the liquid is absorbed, around 30-40 minutes. Fluff with a fork and stir in cilantro. Serve immediately.
2 Cups Chicken or Beef Stock
2 T. Coconut oil
1 Small onion, minced
1 C. Long-grain rice (organic if you can find it)
1 t. Salt
1/2 t. Ground Cumin
1 Medium tomato peeled, seeded and chopped (I skip the peeling and seeding and just chop away)
1 T. Tomato paste
1 T. Chopped fresh cilantro
Heat the stock until just simmering. Remove from heat, cover and set aside. Heat the oil in a large heavy saucepan. Add the onion and rice and cook over medium heat just until the onion is softened, about 5 min. Stir in salt, cumin, tomato, tomato paste, and cook for 1 minute more stirring to incorporate. Gradually add the warm stock, stirring to blend. Bring to a boil, lower heat, cover and cook until the rice is tender and all of the liquid is absorbed, around 30-40 minutes. Fluff with a fork and stir in cilantro. Serve immediately.
Invisible Bonds
"God's method of binding souls to obedience is similar to His method of keeping the planets in their orbits--that is, by flinging them out free. You see no chain keeping back these shining worlds to prevent them from bursting away from their center. They are held in the grip of an invisible principle...And it is by the invisible bond of
Love
Love to the Lord who bought them--that ransomed men are constrained to live soberly and righteously, and godly."~William Arnot
Friday, March 23, 2012
Who is the Pharisee?
I've had this post rolling around in my head for a long time. It is a delicate issue and has taken a lot of thought to be able to express in words.
There are a few "buzz-words" in Christianity that are ill-defined. One of them is legalism. When we think of legalism in the Bible, we almost immediately think of the Pharisees. The Pharisees were a religious group that were extremely adamant about keeping all aspects of the given law. Despite that point, Jesus pointed out that they were lacking, or lost. I think that the idea of the Pharisees can not only cause us to stumble, but can also divide us greatly. We know that Jesus did not come to abolish the law, but rather fulfill it but Salvation by grace alone through faith alone doesn't give us free-license to do whatever we want to do--I think we can all agree on that! Jesus wasn't condoning adultery when the he stood up for the woman the Pharisees dragged before Him. He confronted their hearts (aka motives) and then dealt with her by telling her to turn form her own sin. Like the Pharisees, we can be very focused on God's Word and what it teaches--and that's a good thing. But like the Pharisees, we can also do it for the wrong reasons and without love. That's a bad thing. But there is something else is far more successful at dividing the Church: judging the heart.
A few Sundays ago as I was sitting in church listening to a sermon about the attitudes of the Pharisees, our pastor made a statement and the first thing that flashed through my mind was: I wish ________ (insert name here) could have heard that! I have a feeling that I am not alone. If you tell me that you have never sat in a sermon thinking: "I wish so-and-so could hear this!" then, well, I don't believe you. We've all done it. I recognized the irony in my thought almost immediately and felt ashamed. And then my mind wandered to the many times that I felt anger or "judged" by someone else's convictions. For instance,(and please excuse me for this illustration, it simply seems to be the most obvious) my mind will say that so-and-so always wears dresses so she must be judging me for wearing pants. Logically, that is not true, yet my sinful mind wants to convict that person of judging me when chances are, they haven't. It is possible that this person does it because it is what she believes God desires from her, yet she doesn't see pants as wrong. I actually know many women who believe that way. Paul addresses this issue in his letter to the Romans. Evidently, the Roman church was struggling with judging the convictions of others. Notice I say the convictions....not the sins! Big difference! The Bible instructs us to judge sin and deal with it. It even gives us clear instruction on how to search our own hearts before confronting the sins of others. (Matthew chapter 7) But it never condones judging the heart. That is for God and God alone! No one but God can see into your heart and know the motives for what you do. I believe that this is what Paul was addressing in Romans chapter 14. How beautiful it is to be able to sit alongside another believer who had different convictions than you and be in perfect unity despite it!
That brings me back to the Pharisees. The things they did were good. Yet Jesus, who was qualified to judge their hearts, addressed the motive behind their obedience. Why did He do that? Was it so that we could recognize a Pharisee when we see one? Um, well....no. If you have followed my logic, you will see that the only ones qualified to address YOUR heart and YOUR motives are you and God. More than that, when we think of others who hold different convictions as "Pharisees" we committed a great irony. Since you are not qualified to judge the intentions of others, you have labeled them with a title that you yourself deserve. Being a Pharisee is about judging the heart. Ouch.
I started thinking about Nicodemus., He was a Pharisee, yet he had a desire to know what Jesus was teaching and to know whether or not it was truth. When I read his story, I have a hard time believing that he was that terrible of a person-Pharisee or not. Nicodemus was the one who eventually stood up to the Pharisees and asked the question: Does our law judge a man before it hears him and knows what he is doing? John 7:52 Nicodemus got it. After his encounter with Jesus, he understood what it meant to judge someone without knowing all of the facts! Eventually, he reappears in chapter 19 providing spices with which to embalm his Savior. He is a changed man. Thank you Jesus for not dismissing him or giving up on him!
I have a feeling that a little bit of pride-lovin' Pharisee lives in each of us. I wonder, however, how the Body of Christ would look if we could all do what we can to kill our inner Pharisee? I wonder, if we could simply accept the convictions of others without feeling judged, or better yet, just sit and talk with them and attempt to understand them. Get to know them. I am sure it would take us moving far out of our comfort zone, but God never instructed you to even build a comfort zone! It isn't horribly important that we all agree on everything, but the proper response to feeling conviction would be to search it out for ourselves and find what we believe to be true according to God's Word. We also need to pray and ask the Holy Spirit to guide us in the matter. If we are firm enough in our own convictions, then we really shouldn't feel judged by what others believe (unless they admit that they are judging us then in reality, it is more their problem than yours!)
How different would we be if we understood that the only one we are qualified to judge as a Pharisee is ourselves?
There are a few "buzz-words" in Christianity that are ill-defined. One of them is legalism. When we think of legalism in the Bible, we almost immediately think of the Pharisees. The Pharisees were a religious group that were extremely adamant about keeping all aspects of the given law. Despite that point, Jesus pointed out that they were lacking, or lost. I think that the idea of the Pharisees can not only cause us to stumble, but can also divide us greatly. We know that Jesus did not come to abolish the law, but rather fulfill it but Salvation by grace alone through faith alone doesn't give us free-license to do whatever we want to do--I think we can all agree on that! Jesus wasn't condoning adultery when the he stood up for the woman the Pharisees dragged before Him. He confronted their hearts (aka motives) and then dealt with her by telling her to turn form her own sin. Like the Pharisees, we can be very focused on God's Word and what it teaches--and that's a good thing. But like the Pharisees, we can also do it for the wrong reasons and without love. That's a bad thing. But there is something else is far more successful at dividing the Church: judging the heart.
A few Sundays ago as I was sitting in church listening to a sermon about the attitudes of the Pharisees, our pastor made a statement and the first thing that flashed through my mind was: I wish ________ (insert name here) could have heard that! I have a feeling that I am not alone. If you tell me that you have never sat in a sermon thinking: "I wish so-and-so could hear this!" then, well, I don't believe you. We've all done it. I recognized the irony in my thought almost immediately and felt ashamed. And then my mind wandered to the many times that I felt anger or "judged" by someone else's convictions. For instance,(and please excuse me for this illustration, it simply seems to be the most obvious) my mind will say that so-and-so always wears dresses so she must be judging me for wearing pants. Logically, that is not true, yet my sinful mind wants to convict that person of judging me when chances are, they haven't. It is possible that this person does it because it is what she believes God desires from her, yet she doesn't see pants as wrong. I actually know many women who believe that way. Paul addresses this issue in his letter to the Romans. Evidently, the Roman church was struggling with judging the convictions of others. Notice I say the convictions....not the sins! Big difference! The Bible instructs us to judge sin and deal with it. It even gives us clear instruction on how to search our own hearts before confronting the sins of others. (Matthew chapter 7) But it never condones judging the heart. That is for God and God alone! No one but God can see into your heart and know the motives for what you do. I believe that this is what Paul was addressing in Romans chapter 14. How beautiful it is to be able to sit alongside another believer who had different convictions than you and be in perfect unity despite it!
That brings me back to the Pharisees. The things they did were good. Yet Jesus, who was qualified to judge their hearts, addressed the motive behind their obedience. Why did He do that? Was it so that we could recognize a Pharisee when we see one? Um, well....no. If you have followed my logic, you will see that the only ones qualified to address YOUR heart and YOUR motives are you and God. More than that, when we think of others who hold different convictions as "Pharisees" we committed a great irony. Since you are not qualified to judge the intentions of others, you have labeled them with a title that you yourself deserve. Being a Pharisee is about judging the heart. Ouch.
I started thinking about Nicodemus., He was a Pharisee, yet he had a desire to know what Jesus was teaching and to know whether or not it was truth. When I read his story, I have a hard time believing that he was that terrible of a person-Pharisee or not. Nicodemus was the one who eventually stood up to the Pharisees and asked the question: Does our law judge a man before it hears him and knows what he is doing? John 7:52 Nicodemus got it. After his encounter with Jesus, he understood what it meant to judge someone without knowing all of the facts! Eventually, he reappears in chapter 19 providing spices with which to embalm his Savior. He is a changed man. Thank you Jesus for not dismissing him or giving up on him!
I have a feeling that a little bit of pride-lovin' Pharisee lives in each of us. I wonder, however, how the Body of Christ would look if we could all do what we can to kill our inner Pharisee? I wonder, if we could simply accept the convictions of others without feeling judged, or better yet, just sit and talk with them and attempt to understand them. Get to know them. I am sure it would take us moving far out of our comfort zone, but God never instructed you to even build a comfort zone! It isn't horribly important that we all agree on everything, but the proper response to feeling conviction would be to search it out for ourselves and find what we believe to be true according to God's Word. We also need to pray and ask the Holy Spirit to guide us in the matter. If we are firm enough in our own convictions, then we really shouldn't feel judged by what others believe (unless they admit that they are judging us then in reality, it is more their problem than yours!)
How different would we be if we understood that the only one we are qualified to judge as a Pharisee is ourselves?
Sunday, January 15, 2012
Mentors
I am not sure where to begin. I took a long break that was desperately needed for reflection and time in God's Word. I needed to be quiet and listen instead of speaking and God certainly used that time in many ways. He has reminded me once again that He, alone is sovereign. He is reminding me through the book of Daniel and other means that the greatest idol to overcome in our lives is ourselves. The knowledge burns, hurts, but yet it is encouraging to know that He will continue to grow us, sanctify us, and make us more like Him. He does this (obviously) through His Word, but not only that, He uses the Body of Christ.
A while back I read a blog post lamenting the loss of mentors. Back then I dismissed it, but now I am beginning more and more to see that we need EACH OTHER to help us overcome the idol of self. In reality, the refusal to listen to sound advice from our elders, or even our brothers and sisters in Christ is elevating the idol of self. Granted, there will be times when we might disagree, but are we willing to really consider what others have to say? Or do we simply "tolerate" it and give it no thought at all. Can we throw "self" under the bus and simply say teach me God?
I am encouraged by several great examples I have seen in the public forum of the Internet where something that was not entirely accurate was put out with the best of intentions, and brothers and sisters came along and spoke the truth in love about the situation. What encouraged me was not only their willingness to endure wrath from readers, but the willingness to bend, the willingness to admit error for the sake of God's glory.
I do admit that my greatest flaws have extended into this area. I value great conversation (some would call it debate, some would call it argument.) But I have seen in the past, the times when I was unwilling to bend. Times when I have been set in my ways and unwilling to say to God: show me what You have to say about this. I anticipate that at some time (probably in the near future) I will fall into this trap again, especially since I am writing about it now.
What post-moderns seem to value most today is self-esteem. It is taught religiously in schools. We are taught to stand up for what we believe in, and while in and of itself that is not bad, we are not taught to seriously consider our own limited knowledge and capabilities. Secular humanism tells us that whatever we want to believe/say/do is right and it would be intolerant or unloving to question that. The Bible teaches something vastly different. It teaches us that we need each other to keep us on the straight and narrow. It teaches us to look deeper into our motives and question and allow the Holy Spirit to probe our intentions and our hearts. It tells me that as I am writing this, I might have some ulterior motive other than to simply speak truth and bring glory to God. God wants to shine His light in the darkest corners of our hearts and we DESPERATELY try to keep Him from reaching those places.
I see great value in mentors. I also see that part of the reason that we shun them is the culture we live in, and part simply the depths of our own sinfulness. We lament over the state of the Church all while building light-proof corners of our own hearts. I do it. I have done it. I will undoubtedly do it again in the future. Honestly, I still struggle with all of this and hence my unwillingness to blog regularly. Let's face it, I don't have all of the answers. But more than that, I do not want to put something out there that contradicts God's Word, especially in a public forum. Even if it is unintentional. It's not that I believe that God won't forgive me, but the Bible takes the role of a teacher very seriously and holds it to higher standards than the rest of us. I don't find myself all that qualified to meet that standard. And once again, I will admit that I do not know if I will continue to blog or not. It doesn't really matter one way or the other. It is not a self-denigrating thing, it is simply a stop for rest in the journey. But I just wanted to share this today because of where my study in Daniel is taking me. I am thrilled to be on the journey with all of you.
A while back I read a blog post lamenting the loss of mentors. Back then I dismissed it, but now I am beginning more and more to see that we need EACH OTHER to help us overcome the idol of self. In reality, the refusal to listen to sound advice from our elders, or even our brothers and sisters in Christ is elevating the idol of self. Granted, there will be times when we might disagree, but are we willing to really consider what others have to say? Or do we simply "tolerate" it and give it no thought at all. Can we throw "self" under the bus and simply say teach me God?
I am encouraged by several great examples I have seen in the public forum of the Internet where something that was not entirely accurate was put out with the best of intentions, and brothers and sisters came along and spoke the truth in love about the situation. What encouraged me was not only their willingness to endure wrath from readers, but the willingness to bend, the willingness to admit error for the sake of God's glory.
I do admit that my greatest flaws have extended into this area. I value great conversation (some would call it debate, some would call it argument.) But I have seen in the past, the times when I was unwilling to bend. Times when I have been set in my ways and unwilling to say to God: show me what You have to say about this. I anticipate that at some time (probably in the near future) I will fall into this trap again, especially since I am writing about it now.
What post-moderns seem to value most today is self-esteem. It is taught religiously in schools. We are taught to stand up for what we believe in, and while in and of itself that is not bad, we are not taught to seriously consider our own limited knowledge and capabilities. Secular humanism tells us that whatever we want to believe/say/do is right and it would be intolerant or unloving to question that. The Bible teaches something vastly different. It teaches us that we need each other to keep us on the straight and narrow. It teaches us to look deeper into our motives and question and allow the Holy Spirit to probe our intentions and our hearts. It tells me that as I am writing this, I might have some ulterior motive other than to simply speak truth and bring glory to God. God wants to shine His light in the darkest corners of our hearts and we DESPERATELY try to keep Him from reaching those places.
I see great value in mentors. I also see that part of the reason that we shun them is the culture we live in, and part simply the depths of our own sinfulness. We lament over the state of the Church all while building light-proof corners of our own hearts. I do it. I have done it. I will undoubtedly do it again in the future. Honestly, I still struggle with all of this and hence my unwillingness to blog regularly. Let's face it, I don't have all of the answers. But more than that, I do not want to put something out there that contradicts God's Word, especially in a public forum. Even if it is unintentional. It's not that I believe that God won't forgive me, but the Bible takes the role of a teacher very seriously and holds it to higher standards than the rest of us. I don't find myself all that qualified to meet that standard. And once again, I will admit that I do not know if I will continue to blog or not. It doesn't really matter one way or the other. It is not a self-denigrating thing, it is simply a stop for rest in the journey. But I just wanted to share this today because of where my study in Daniel is taking me. I am thrilled to be on the journey with all of you.
Monday, January 9, 2012
Creation Singing God's Praises
When you watch this it will move you. If you are His, you can't help but lift your hands in the air and praise Him right along with the rest of His creation. Can you even imagine the day we will all stand before Him singing together? It brings a tear of joy to my eyes. So did this video. It's almost 15 minutes long but the most amazing and moving thing I have EVER seen or heard.
Wednesday, January 4, 2012
Real Beauty
While we were driving to our home school co-op today, this song came on the radio. I was thinking back to when I saw the video to it and couldn't hold back the tears. I've been there. I understand the pressure. I want my girls so desperately to understand that God made them beautiful the way they are. The cry of my heart is for them to know that they are perfect the way they are, and loved because of who He is. The world puts unreal standards of beauty on it's young women. Even as an old woman, I am occasionally swept into the notion of wanting to look skinnier, prettier, younger, etc. But REAL beauty shines from the heart. I hope you enjoy this song and share it with your daughters.
Monday, October 10, 2011
My Theme
Yesterday I had a nice relaxing lunch out with my friends. It was so great to be able to sit, eat, and talk with two ladies who love the Lord. One of my friends asked me "what is your theme right now?" She explained that she thought that we all have themes in our lives: areas where God is working on molding our hearts, little areas where He is making us think or dealing with us. I agree. I can look back and see little chunks of time where God has chipped away at my heart...a little here, a LOT there...
So I had time to think about it, but still wasn't sure how to fully put it into words when it was my time to share. I guess if I had to sum it up in a nutshell it would be: being quiet. When you have finished picking yourself up off of the floor from laughing I will explain what I mean. Ready? Not yet. Take your time and get your belly laughs out. Now? Okay.
So here it is. I love to discuss things. I love to talk with my trusted friends and ask: "what do you think about this?" I love other people's input because it makes me think. And I love people who aren't afraid to challenge my thinking and show me where I am wrong. In the past few years, I have taken a lot of time learning about what different people believe and I have come to realize that you can't "pin" me into one category or denomination. I am nondenominational in that many hold great truths. Or maybe multidenominational might be a better word for it. Much of my learning came from discussion with friends.
But now I have come to a point in my life where I am sorting it all out. Information overload can be a good and a bad thing. I have come to realize that I can't sort this out in conversation right now--I have to go to the source. So I have been spending some time figuring it all out by the pages of God's Word. I have done a little writing, but I do not feel compelled to share it right now.
I consider putting myself out there online as a means of transparency. I am an open book. Feel free to explore the pages of my mind. But I have seen others struggles in their writings and blogs. What I notice is that sometimes people gain a following. People who wouldn't DARE disagree with you. At that point, when you have a following, you become a teacher and God holds you to a higher standard. If that is the case you had better either be right or at least open to the possibility that you might be wrong. And while I am always open to the possibility that I might be wrong, I would rather be leading people in the right direction. One day I will stand before God and account for my words. That doesn't mean that He will condemn me, for there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ. But there will be some level of accountability.
So lately, I have just been listening. Listening to what God has to say to me through His Word. My "theme" has been meditating on what Paul means when he repeatedly reminds us to "walk worthy of the Lord." Tough thought to some, because we stumble over what that means since Jesus already made us worthy. That is where I will be. I probably won't be posting much. But I will be reading. And I would love to hear from you. So what is your theme right now?
So I had time to think about it, but still wasn't sure how to fully put it into words when it was my time to share. I guess if I had to sum it up in a nutshell it would be: being quiet. When you have finished picking yourself up off of the floor from laughing I will explain what I mean. Ready? Not yet. Take your time and get your belly laughs out. Now? Okay.
So here it is. I love to discuss things. I love to talk with my trusted friends and ask: "what do you think about this?" I love other people's input because it makes me think. And I love people who aren't afraid to challenge my thinking and show me where I am wrong. In the past few years, I have taken a lot of time learning about what different people believe and I have come to realize that you can't "pin" me into one category or denomination. I am nondenominational in that many hold great truths. Or maybe multidenominational might be a better word for it. Much of my learning came from discussion with friends.
But now I have come to a point in my life where I am sorting it all out. Information overload can be a good and a bad thing. I have come to realize that I can't sort this out in conversation right now--I have to go to the source. So I have been spending some time figuring it all out by the pages of God's Word. I have done a little writing, but I do not feel compelled to share it right now.
I consider putting myself out there online as a means of transparency. I am an open book. Feel free to explore the pages of my mind. But I have seen others struggles in their writings and blogs. What I notice is that sometimes people gain a following. People who wouldn't DARE disagree with you. At that point, when you have a following, you become a teacher and God holds you to a higher standard. If that is the case you had better either be right or at least open to the possibility that you might be wrong. And while I am always open to the possibility that I might be wrong, I would rather be leading people in the right direction. One day I will stand before God and account for my words. That doesn't mean that He will condemn me, for there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ. But there will be some level of accountability.
So lately, I have just been listening. Listening to what God has to say to me through His Word. My "theme" has been meditating on what Paul means when he repeatedly reminds us to "walk worthy of the Lord." Tough thought to some, because we stumble over what that means since Jesus already made us worthy. That is where I will be. I probably won't be posting much. But I will be reading. And I would love to hear from you. So what is your theme right now?
Friday, October 7, 2011
You Need to Watch This.
I am coming to the end of A Lifetime of Learning. If I keep this blog, I will soon take it in a whole new direction. But I have one thing that is on my heart to share before I stop posting.
I believe that Christians need to be bold, courageous, and speak up for truth and justice no matter the consequences. And the truth is this: when you do, some people won't like you. But truth is truth no matter how abrasive it is to someone else. The Gospel of Christ is offensive because it reveals the real us. And the truth is that what is inside is frequently ugly.
Now that I have said my peace, I want you to watch something. It is important for everyone to understand our history, otherwise we are doomed to repeat our mistakes. America is a case study for this. I won't explain, I just want you to watch. Then leave your comments and thoughts.
Most importantly, share. This movie is changing the hearts and minds of many. We CAN make a difference...one heart at a time.
I believe that Christians need to be bold, courageous, and speak up for truth and justice no matter the consequences. And the truth is this: when you do, some people won't like you. But truth is truth no matter how abrasive it is to someone else. The Gospel of Christ is offensive because it reveals the real us. And the truth is that what is inside is frequently ugly.
Now that I have said my peace, I want you to watch something. It is important for everyone to understand our history, otherwise we are doomed to repeat our mistakes. America is a case study for this. I won't explain, I just want you to watch. Then leave your comments and thoughts.
Most importantly, share. This movie is changing the hearts and minds of many. We CAN make a difference...one heart at a time.
Sunday, September 18, 2011
Time for a Break
I am not a daily blogger. I am not even a weekly blogger. I am simply a "when I feel inspired" blogger. Right now, I feel inspired to take a break. To simply take some time to be quiet, and turn inward and towards the Lord. I don't know if the break will be temporary or permanent. I am leaving my site up because I love to occasionally log on an browse through my reading list. Maybe I will see you soon.
Saturday, September 10, 2011
Vaccine Wars
Today I am venturing out into waters that I have purposely ignored in this venue. Why? Because it is not my intention to convince anyone of anything. I feel compelled, however, to step into the ring with my boxing gloves squarely in place.
The debate is heating up. To vaccinate or not to vaccinate? Part of the reason that it is heating up right now is because more an more people are taking notice and educating themselves on the subject. It even appears that they don't like what they are finding. Despite the CDC's propaganda, including the new movie Contagion more and more families are saying no to vaccines.
And with the percentage of people vaccinating waning, comes the new push to "mandate" vaccines. As if it weren't enough to vilify educated families in movies and articles as the "bad guys" who spread and harbor diseases, the CDC is encouraging health care facilities to force unwanted vaccines on their staff. It seems telling that 50% of knowledgeable nurses refuse the influenza vaccine. The CDC will tell you that this is because of lack of education, I still contend that it is because of education.
Here's hoping that the push to force unwanted medical treatments on people becomes more of an eye-opener than a success. Hopefully, it will push people to ask questions and do research of their own before they decide to comply. Although I will not give you advice on whether to--or whether not to, I can give you resources for study if you are truly interested. Then you can make your own decision--whatever it might be--as an informed consumer rather than blind faith.
Happy reading.
http://www.thinktwice.com/
http://www.nvic.org
http://www.vaccinationcouncil.org/
http://drtenpenny.com/default.aspx
The debate is heating up. To vaccinate or not to vaccinate? Part of the reason that it is heating up right now is because more an more people are taking notice and educating themselves on the subject. It even appears that they don't like what they are finding. Despite the CDC's propaganda, including the new movie Contagion more and more families are saying no to vaccines.
And with the percentage of people vaccinating waning, comes the new push to "mandate" vaccines. As if it weren't enough to vilify educated families in movies and articles as the "bad guys" who spread and harbor diseases, the CDC is encouraging health care facilities to force unwanted vaccines on their staff. It seems telling that 50% of knowledgeable nurses refuse the influenza vaccine. The CDC will tell you that this is because of lack of education, I still contend that it is because of education.
Here's hoping that the push to force unwanted medical treatments on people becomes more of an eye-opener than a success. Hopefully, it will push people to ask questions and do research of their own before they decide to comply. Although I will not give you advice on whether to--or whether not to, I can give you resources for study if you are truly interested. Then you can make your own decision--whatever it might be--as an informed consumer rather than blind faith.
Happy reading.
http://www.thinktwice.com/
http://www.nvic.org
http://www.vaccinationcouncil.org/
http://drtenpenny.com/default.aspx
Monday, August 22, 2011
Less Than Perfect
I was recently skimming over Nancy Leigh DeMoss's list 41 evidences of pride. I had posted a link to this before, but recently a friend posted it again....and it is a good list to look over from time to time. It reminds us that we are all sinners, and that pride creeps in unseen at times. It isn't an easy list to read.
One other blogger had mentioned that sometimes we tend to make ourselves sound much better than we are. By that, I mean we portray an image of ourselves online that isn't true to what we are really like. I began to wonder about that. Sometimes I read blogs of others and I think: Man! They really have it all together!!! Then the oddest thing happened. I had several people make comments to me about how "together" I am. I simply stared a blank stare and didn't know how to answer. My thought were: If they only knew the real me! That was when I began to wonder about the picture that I portray of myself online.
I think that the intention of many bloggers is to write about what works for them or blesses them. No one would want to read a post about how to keep a messy house, cook a crummy dinner, or fight with your spouse. There are plenty of people who share negative experiences on Facebook--we don't need it in the blogging world! But one thing I would never want to do is portray myself as different or better than I really am!
I could sit and bore you with a long list of things I stink at: keeping my house clean, balancing a checkbook, sweeping the acorns off of my porch, finishing almost any project that I start, keeping my mouth shut, blah, blah, blah....but you probably aren't interested in my faults. All one would need is to come over to my house unannounced to find toys all over the floor, books stacked on the table, a sink full of dishes, and a yard full of bikes and toys.
And it's not that I find cleaning unimportant. It's just that I am real....not perfect. And I have come to terms with that. Hopefully I have never portrayed myself as someone who is "all together." That would be a lie. But I do love to write about what God is doing in my life. I guess you can say that it is my way of testifying to the goodness of my Savior! If He can see purpose and value in a life like mine......then He sees it in you too.
No, I won't start snapping pictures of my laundry piles....don't worry. But I will be real with you. If you ask me what I am struggling with today, I will tell you. That's where true relationship begins.
One other blogger had mentioned that sometimes we tend to make ourselves sound much better than we are. By that, I mean we portray an image of ourselves online that isn't true to what we are really like. I began to wonder about that. Sometimes I read blogs of others and I think: Man! They really have it all together!!! Then the oddest thing happened. I had several people make comments to me about how "together" I am. I simply stared a blank stare and didn't know how to answer. My thought were: If they only knew the real me! That was when I began to wonder about the picture that I portray of myself online.
I think that the intention of many bloggers is to write about what works for them or blesses them. No one would want to read a post about how to keep a messy house, cook a crummy dinner, or fight with your spouse. There are plenty of people who share negative experiences on Facebook--we don't need it in the blogging world! But one thing I would never want to do is portray myself as different or better than I really am!
I could sit and bore you with a long list of things I stink at: keeping my house clean, balancing a checkbook, sweeping the acorns off of my porch, finishing almost any project that I start, keeping my mouth shut, blah, blah, blah....but you probably aren't interested in my faults. All one would need is to come over to my house unannounced to find toys all over the floor, books stacked on the table, a sink full of dishes, and a yard full of bikes and toys.
And it's not that I find cleaning unimportant. It's just that I am real....not perfect. And I have come to terms with that. Hopefully I have never portrayed myself as someone who is "all together." That would be a lie. But I do love to write about what God is doing in my life. I guess you can say that it is my way of testifying to the goodness of my Savior! If He can see purpose and value in a life like mine......then He sees it in you too.
No, I won't start snapping pictures of my laundry piles....don't worry. But I will be real with you. If you ask me what I am struggling with today, I will tell you. That's where true relationship begins.
Tuesday, August 9, 2011
Whatever it Takes
The economy is crashing. We take pride in slaughtering our unborn in the name of choice. We have, as a country, forsaken what we were founded upon in the name of progress. We face the fear of losing our rights to raise our children in God's Word. We pray and pray for our nation to turn back to God before we suffer dearly.
I wonder, though, should our prayer be "Lord, don't let me or my kids suffer" or should it be "Lord, whatever it takes!"
Whatever it takes to drive our nation to it's knees and humble ourselves before God. Whatever it takes to reveal Your eternal glory to a lost people. Even unto suffering and death--Lord, whatever it takes to do your will!
Our question should be: do I love God enough to be able to stand through suffering and still glorify Him with my life? Will I give thanks in my suffering, or will I grumble? Am I teaching my children that this life is fleeting--but Christ is supreme and our treasure awaits in eternity?
No, I am sure that it isn't wrong to pray for our leaders. No, it isn't selfish to wish that this would all be fixed and we would lose nothing through it. But that doesn't seem to be the Biblical trend! I am writing this simply to encourage you. God is most glorified in our weakness. We need to prepare our hearts and know that He is our treasure...not life.
Will you pray this with me?
I wonder, though, should our prayer be "Lord, don't let me or my kids suffer" or should it be "Lord, whatever it takes!"
Whatever it takes to drive our nation to it's knees and humble ourselves before God. Whatever it takes to reveal Your eternal glory to a lost people. Even unto suffering and death--Lord, whatever it takes to do your will!
Our question should be: do I love God enough to be able to stand through suffering and still glorify Him with my life? Will I give thanks in my suffering, or will I grumble? Am I teaching my children that this life is fleeting--but Christ is supreme and our treasure awaits in eternity?
No, I am sure that it isn't wrong to pray for our leaders. No, it isn't selfish to wish that this would all be fixed and we would lose nothing through it. But that doesn't seem to be the Biblical trend! I am writing this simply to encourage you. God is most glorified in our weakness. We need to prepare our hearts and know that He is our treasure...not life.
Will you pray this with me?
Monday, August 8, 2011
My Story-Part 2 Baptism
So I took the plunge...again.
I was able to give my testimony to those on the beach yesterday--August 7th, 2011--but if you weren't there, I can tell you why I did it again. If you have read my story, continue on. If not, read it first here.
After reading that post, you will know a bit more about me and what I believe. I did get baptized when I was 10. But what I didn't understand when I was 10 was why. But far more important that that....I didn't understand what salvation meant! You see, I believe that we can come to baptism not fully understanding it's meaning. We cannot, however, come to faith in Christ without understanding that He did it all for us, and there is nothing that we can do to earn His love. Nothing. We are simply called to put our faith in the fact that we are sinners, separated from God, and we are in need of a Savior. Jesus fulfilled the demands of justice on the cross as a final sacrifice. Sin deserves death. He gave us life. That is grace--a gift we don't deserve! I will not enter heaven on my own merits--what church I attended, how good I was, the fact that I lived a better life than others, or even the fact that I was baptized. (twice:) I only enter clothed in the righteousness of Christ. I wear His blood--the only thing that makes me good! But believing that salvation is something that can be earned or lost equates it with works-which was what I believed when I was 10. It then sets you up for misery and failure and the grief of knowing that you can never be good enough for God. Thank God that this teaching is untrue-- it is not about me!
So, that brings me to what I believe about baptism. I used to believe that baptism was a necessary step of salvation, and that if we failed to be baptized we would not be saved. I have come to believe now that this not the full truth. Baptism is a commandment of Christ following belief. Being unbaptized does not make you unsaved. You will never find a verse in the Bible that talks about infant baptism, or sprinkling. It is always carried out by immersion following conversion. (that rhymes..:) So, I believe that if you are truly saved, you will choose to obey and be baptized.
John 14:15 "If you love Me, keep My commandments."
There is a lot of confusion out there about the idea of the lordship of Jesus. I do not believe that you can pray a prayer and then spend the rest of your life in sin and assume that you are saved. Salvation requires repentance-a word that means to turn and walk in the opposite direction. The gift of the Holy Spirit in you moves you, transforms you, molds you, and makes you more like Christ. No, not perfection--that is not required-- but sanctification or progressive change. If you have the Holy Spirit and He is speaking in your life about an issue like baptism, He won't rest until you humble yourself and obey! Trust me on that one--I have been there!
 | ||||
| This is me giving my testimony with Pastor Phil looking on. |
Love, Correction, and Discipline: My Interview wtih Suzanna Kamphuis
My wonderful friend Suzanna was another person that I sent my interview questions to. She was very gracious to reply, despite being at the very end of her pregnancy! Suzanna has the wonderful ability to draw people out in conversation and make them not only feel welcome, but also to think. And I love her dearly!
I’m a stay-at-home, sometime-homeschooling, sometime-not mom with hands in many pies, seldom
1. Tell me a little bit about yourself.
(much to my husband’s chagrin) a literal pie.
2. How would you define love?
I’ve been thinking a lot about love these days, reading I Corinthians 13 over silently to myself and aloud to my children. I enjoy reading the King James Version, and in that version the term “charity” is used instead of “love.” The Jacobeans, the society that produced the King James Version, were incredibly public minded, interested primarily in Biblical virtues as they affected society. Thus, they used a term which brought to mind the social form of the Greek original, “agape.” Conversely, today, many people tend to think of love as a private, heart-chosen, out-of-our-control emotion. As Woody Allen infamously expressed, “The heart wants what it wants.”
I grew up in a conservative church that sided with the Jacobeans in this debate. Love was not about how you felt, but rather about what you did—the public effect was primary. If and when you didn’t feel it—you were advised to “fake it ‘til you make it,” because “feelings follow actions.” But in real life, sometimes feelings don’t follow actions. Sometimes my heart strays while my hand holds to the plow. Does God care whether I feel love or whether I just find a way to express something loving in spite of my feelings?
Just to prove to you what an idea nerd I am, for my wedding, I chose the song “Something That We Do,” by Clint Black to express this idea. I know; so romantic! The lyrics have a lot to say about what love isn’t, “Love’s not just something that we’re in…Love isn’t something that you find.” But what if love is something that found you. The greatest love I have ever know has quietly but consistently searched me out not for public effect but to minister to my private need. In my depravity, when the hopelessness of my case is right before me, the miracle of Christ love is poured out on my parched earth.
I John 4 tells me that it is not the Christian’s job to manufacture love, not even for the Saviour himself, “We love him because He first loved us.” Just as He is the author of our Faith, He is the author of our love. And yet He does have some requirements. He literally commands us to share. We are not to be cisterns—taking and storing; we are to be aqueducts—passing the love along. I try to think of the words of Christ as they would have sounded to Old Testament ears. “If ye love me keep my commandments.” Think of how that must have sounded to people under the law—how freeing! “I don’t have to earn God’s favour, God’s favour and the love that it has inspired in my heart is there to propel me forward.” And where is forward? Several verses later Christ tells us, “And this is my commandment that ye love one another.” This is truly a New Covenant. Receive the love of Christ, feel it, and give it to someone else.
3. Biblically, we are called to correct, instruct, and encourage one another to righteousness. In what circumstances should we do this? How do we balance this with our call to love?
I’m sad to say that I have been on both the giving and receiving end of correction, instruction, and encouragement in righteousness that was not grounded in love. It’s not a pleasant experience to get beaten up by another person’s “gift.” In fact the word “gift” seems a bit of a misnomer when your eyes are getting poked, your hair is getting pulled, your ears are being boxed by your beloved brother or sister in Christ, who then proceeds to pray that you will receive their words in a spirit of love. A gift to who? Not to me. Even when the words are true, it is hard to learn when you feel attacked. As Paul says in I Corinthians 12, “There is a more excellent way.”
Following I Corinthians 13 is…drum roll please…I Corinthians 14. In I Corinthians 14 we are instructed to desire spirituals gifts, such as prophecy…as they flow from love…and as we can understand their limited usefulness because of our limited selves. At this time, we are working in pretty murky water; we do not yet see “face to face.” Ah, the blessed humility of knowing that my “insights” are often misguided, my feelings frequently interfere with my spiritual sight. And yet, just as God does not despise my frailty, He does not despise my pursuit of spiritual gifts. I am not called to be a limp fish or a door mat, but to be fully me, led by His Spirit in a unique way to serve His kingdom. BUT…my gifts need a regular bath, or they will start to stink maybe not to my nose but to the noses of those around me. Humility and love scour my gifts and make them acceptable to company.
4. The big phrase you hear today is "don't judge me!" The Bible instructs us to judge not, lest we be judged. What does this passage mean to you? Is there ever a circumstance where we are called to judge?
I once heard a Biblical scholar explain that this phrase from the Gospels simply means that one shouldn’t get into the business of judging unless you yourself are prepared to be judged. Not being a Biblical scholar myself, I jumped on the explanation in my usual enthusiastic way.
I think there certainly is a time and a place within the parameters set by I Corinthians 13 to speak an honest question into someone’s life. “Love seeketh not her own.” The love of Christ does not flatter or seek ego fulfilment in the eyes of the beloved. But for me, judgment involves a sentence, a statement of determination. I find that to be antithetical to the definition of love in I Corinthians 13. “
Friday, August 5, 2011
A New Blog Venture!
To all of you who read my little blog-thank you! I still think it a bit strange that so many people I have never met are a part of my life. But I love it because I love to encourage. I love to encourage because I desperately need it too! We all do-if we are honest about it!
I decided to begin a new venture. Mainly because I have had several people contact me in the last year asking abut getting started in home schooling. I want to put any information and encouragement that I have all in one place so I can just refer people to it. I have asked friends and family who are veteran and beginning home schoolers to contribute to the site. I am not sure where it will go, but if it helps even one person my work is worth it.
Come on over and check it out. Refer it to friends. People are still free to contact me personally and my email can be found on the new blog!
http://gettingstartedhomeschooling.blogspot.com/
I decided to begin a new venture. Mainly because I have had several people contact me in the last year asking abut getting started in home schooling. I want to put any information and encouragement that I have all in one place so I can just refer people to it. I have asked friends and family who are veteran and beginning home schoolers to contribute to the site. I am not sure where it will go, but if it helps even one person my work is worth it.
Come on over and check it out. Refer it to friends. People are still free to contact me personally and my email can be found on the new blog!
http://gettingstartedhomeschooling.blogspot.com/
Friday, July 22, 2011
Chocolate Zucchini Bread
The best!!!!
3 cups all-purpose flour
3 cups sugar
1/2 C baking cocoa
1- 1/2 t. Baking powder
1- 1/2 t. Baking soda
1 t. Salt
1/4 t. ground cinnamon
4 eggs
1-1/2 C oil (I use coconut, but has to be warmed to liquid when mixing you can use vegetable oil too-just not good for you!)
2 T. Butter, melted
1 1/2 t. vanilla extract
3C Grated zucchini
a big heaping helping of semisweet chocolate chips.
*optional* raisins or pecans
Mix all of the dry ingredients (first seven). In a separate bowl, mix eggs, oil, butter, vanilla and mix well. If you are using coconut oil, you might have to gently warm the mixture to make it liquid before adding to dry ingredients. I used a metal bowl and held it over an empty pan over the stove top to prevent the eggs from cooking. Stir well into dry mix until moistened throughout. Fold in zucchini and chocolate chips. I would say a cup of them, but I won't lie, I add more than that!!
Grease and flour two 8X4X2 loaf pans. Divide equally and bake at 350 degrees for 55-60 minutes or until a skewer comes out clean. Mine never really come out clean. That's okay, it is rich and decadent!!
3 cups all-purpose flour
3 cups sugar
1/2 C baking cocoa
1- 1/2 t. Baking powder
1- 1/2 t. Baking soda
1 t. Salt
1/4 t. ground cinnamon
4 eggs
1-1/2 C oil (I use coconut, but has to be warmed to liquid when mixing you can use vegetable oil too-just not good for you!)
2 T. Butter, melted
1 1/2 t. vanilla extract
3C Grated zucchini
a big heaping helping of semisweet chocolate chips.
*optional* raisins or pecans
Mix all of the dry ingredients (first seven). In a separate bowl, mix eggs, oil, butter, vanilla and mix well. If you are using coconut oil, you might have to gently warm the mixture to make it liquid before adding to dry ingredients. I used a metal bowl and held it over an empty pan over the stove top to prevent the eggs from cooking. Stir well into dry mix until moistened throughout. Fold in zucchini and chocolate chips. I would say a cup of them, but I won't lie, I add more than that!!
Grease and flour two 8X4X2 loaf pans. Divide equally and bake at 350 degrees for 55-60 minutes or until a skewer comes out clean. Mine never really come out clean. That's okay, it is rich and decadent!!
Thursday, July 21, 2011
My Story
I became a Jesus-follower somewhere between 1992-1994. If you attend a Baptist church like I do, you might have trouble with that statement because you think that there has to be a date and and hour when you "sealed the deal." But I truly believe that for some it is more of a process than it is a prayer. I love how John Piper explains the process as an electrical system. People come into our lives and help to install the wiring tracts for the system, but one day God flips the switch and turns on the lights, which only God can do. I can pinpoint the time in my life with much certainty that God "flipped the switch."
It is different for everyone, I am sure. My story is not a condemnation of any one's belief systems, nor is it a commentary on the faith of those I grew up with, it is simply a story of someone who came away from a particular system empty and scared. Not all people have the same response that I did-I can only speak for myself.
When I was little, my parents were faithful church attendees. We went to a close-knit Church of Christ. I think that back in the day, there was a fairly good sized congregation, but the perspective of a child I have found is sometime skewed when it comes to size and proportion. But they were family. They still are. The church no longer holds the name "Church of Christ." I don't know why they changed the name, but I wondered if it had anything to do with that denominations beliefs on salvation and baptism. I really don't know for sure.
I remember Sunday School and Junior Church and VBS. We learned to memorize Bible verses, the books of the Bible, and so on. I have some very fond memories that reach back to those events. But as I grew into a teenager, I was a bit worried. I had met people who I had believed had a real connection with God that I seemed to be lacking. If you would have asked me back then what it meant to be a Christian I'm not really sure what I would have told you. I found comfort in a lot of things that I don't see as edifying now. My choice in music was one of them. My choice in relationships was another. I have never had any experience with drugs, but I did drink a few times well before I was of age. I spent a lot of time telling my mother that I listened to heavy metal for the music, but I didn't care for the lyrics-which was a lie and I knew it.
I went through a lot of traumatic things as a child. Not in my family-they were wonderful. I had loving, faithful parents. My trauma was more with friends and it started with a neighbor that decided one day to raise an army against me. You know how girls fight? They are never content just to be mad at you, they have to take all of their friends with them and form an army. My adolescence started that way. I have had some great friends, but my experience with just one friend left me wounded and raw. I spent the rest of my teenage years looking for acceptance and love. I was loved at home, but I needed more. I needed love from people who were not blood-related and obligated to love me! In retrospect, I think I just wanted to be worthy of love. That led me to seek out love in the wrong places. (remember that song? Looking for love in all the wrong places? I always get that song stuck in my head when I tell this story!) What I did not know then was that I had a hole in my heart that would never and could never be filled by people.
So let me rewind for a minute. When I was 10 years old, I wanted to be baptized. I saw that everyone else around me was doing it, and I really wanted to take communion. My parents called the pastor and he came out to our home to talk with us. I don't remember a single word he said. What I do remember was that after our meeting I was scared. I was scared that I would not make it to the church to my baptism. What if I got hit by a train, truck, or swept up by a tornado? Then I would be condemned to hell for sure! I don't know how long it was in between the meeting and the baptismal service-let's just say 2 weeks for the sake of argument. Two weeks is a long time to sit and worry about death! I needed my sins washed away now! But the two weeks passed, and I lived. I made it to the church and I walked down the isle. I stood in front of our small congregation and made a profession of faith: that I believed that Jesus was the Son of God, I believed He died and rose again, and I believed that I needed Him for a Savior. And I really did believe that. Now time to wash those sins away. I remember one of my first thoughts when coming up out of the water: what now? All those sins are gone, does that mean I can never sin again? How can I be "good enough" for this God? How bad do I have to be to lose this salvation that I just earned by baptism? These were all subconscious questions I had. They weren't answered for a few years.
So fast-forward now to those teenage years. Several years of attempting to "be good" had found me flat on my face. I had failed so many times. I didn't even desire righteousness. I made my own form of it. I supposed that there were people out there who were much worse than me, so I must be doing okay-even though my soul knew I wasn't okay. I won't lie to you, I was tormented. I used to cry at night knowing I wasn't good enough. When I was in high school and struggling with the "friend thing" I had a thought that I would rather be dead. I never tried to accomplish that-I just wanted it. Yet through the day, I wore a confident face for my family and justified everything I did to myself and others. I never would have described myself as "empty" like I know that it was now. I just didn't know.
After learning the ways of the world through a miserable relationship with a man, I decided that it was time to change myself. I resolved to be better. God brought a wonderful man into my life. He was everything that I wanted, but he was also something that I hated--Baptist. My thoughts on denominational lines now are different, but that is another subject for another time. I went to some of his church gatherings and he came to some of mine. In less than a year of knowing him, I knew that I would marry him-but I would never go to a Baptist church!
God has a great sense of humor. But I digress.
My husband and his family introduced me to the doctrine of grace. This was something totally new for me. I didn't remember hearing much about it growing up. I struggled with it at first--because it is a totally un-natural, radical thing. I asked a lot of questions but still couldn't grasp the idea that I could accept Christ as my savior and then live my life any way I wanted and I would still be His. Asinine. For the record-I still don't believe that, but I understand now the transforming power of grace and how God takes a heart of stone from us and transforms it into a living, warm heart of flesh. Remember when I talked about laying the ground wire and letting God flip the switch? It's coming soon. All of the things that I learned about God over the years, all of the things that were continuing to wire me was about to be activated by God. In all of my questioning and confusion, He led me to this verse:
Ephesians 2:8-9 "For by grace you have been saved through faith, and that not of yourselves; it is a gift of God and not by works, lest any man can boast."
I didn't read that and say: "oooh! I get it!" No, when I read that I realized that what I had believed all of these years could possibly be wrong. So one night, somewhere between 1992 and 1994-I don't even remember if it was spring, summer, whatever- I was lying in bed crying. I prayed to God and told Him that I didn't know what was true, but I just wanted Him. And I wanted truth. I needed Him to open my eyes and show me because my "self" wasn't figuring this out and I certainly had never had the peace I desired. God is faithful. And when we humble ourselves before Him, He gives us what we really need. He knew that this was the cry of my heart and that it was genuine. That night, I believe that He performed a work in me. I believe that the next morning I woke up with a clean slate. The work of baptism that I hoped to wash my sins away failed, but my desires were accomplished by a simple act of faith. I didn't know it immediately, but I began to see God change me. I lost the desire for some of the music I once loved. My thoughts in other areas had changed. Others noticed a difference and commented on it. I wasn't super-Christian, flying around with my sword of righteousness--no it was a bit more subtle than that. But it was a change. And I knew something that I had never known before: I was His forever. Nothing I did was ever going to change that. My dirty self was now clothed in the righteousness of Christ and one day I would show up at the gates wearing His righteousness-not my own. And when I got there and He asked me "Why should I let you into my heaven?" I would start to speak and Jesus would interrupt and say:
"Father, this one is Mine. I did all of the work for her, she simply believed."
I now believe that salvation doesn't depend on what kind of church you go to. We attend a Baptist church simply because we like it and find it to be Biblically sound. But I have learned that my beliefs don't have to lie within Baptist boundaries-just Biblical ones. God has used the past 19ish years to transform me, mold me, and change my wrong-headed thinking on many things. And I am still open to that. I am learning all of the time. (Hence the blog title) Despite the things I don't know, I still know one thing for sure: I am His forever and nothing will change that. Nothing, self included, can remove me from His hand. Amazing love. I have found rest from my works in the arms of a loving Savior.
Do you rest in Him too?
It is different for everyone, I am sure. My story is not a condemnation of any one's belief systems, nor is it a commentary on the faith of those I grew up with, it is simply a story of someone who came away from a particular system empty and scared. Not all people have the same response that I did-I can only speak for myself.
When I was little, my parents were faithful church attendees. We went to a close-knit Church of Christ. I think that back in the day, there was a fairly good sized congregation, but the perspective of a child I have found is sometime skewed when it comes to size and proportion. But they were family. They still are. The church no longer holds the name "Church of Christ." I don't know why they changed the name, but I wondered if it had anything to do with that denominations beliefs on salvation and baptism. I really don't know for sure.
I remember Sunday School and Junior Church and VBS. We learned to memorize Bible verses, the books of the Bible, and so on. I have some very fond memories that reach back to those events. But as I grew into a teenager, I was a bit worried. I had met people who I had believed had a real connection with God that I seemed to be lacking. If you would have asked me back then what it meant to be a Christian I'm not really sure what I would have told you. I found comfort in a lot of things that I don't see as edifying now. My choice in music was one of them. My choice in relationships was another. I have never had any experience with drugs, but I did drink a few times well before I was of age. I spent a lot of time telling my mother that I listened to heavy metal for the music, but I didn't care for the lyrics-which was a lie and I knew it.
I went through a lot of traumatic things as a child. Not in my family-they were wonderful. I had loving, faithful parents. My trauma was more with friends and it started with a neighbor that decided one day to raise an army against me. You know how girls fight? They are never content just to be mad at you, they have to take all of their friends with them and form an army. My adolescence started that way. I have had some great friends, but my experience with just one friend left me wounded and raw. I spent the rest of my teenage years looking for acceptance and love. I was loved at home, but I needed more. I needed love from people who were not blood-related and obligated to love me! In retrospect, I think I just wanted to be worthy of love. That led me to seek out love in the wrong places. (remember that song? Looking for love in all the wrong places? I always get that song stuck in my head when I tell this story!) What I did not know then was that I had a hole in my heart that would never and could never be filled by people.
So let me rewind for a minute. When I was 10 years old, I wanted to be baptized. I saw that everyone else around me was doing it, and I really wanted to take communion. My parents called the pastor and he came out to our home to talk with us. I don't remember a single word he said. What I do remember was that after our meeting I was scared. I was scared that I would not make it to the church to my baptism. What if I got hit by a train, truck, or swept up by a tornado? Then I would be condemned to hell for sure! I don't know how long it was in between the meeting and the baptismal service-let's just say 2 weeks for the sake of argument. Two weeks is a long time to sit and worry about death! I needed my sins washed away now! But the two weeks passed, and I lived. I made it to the church and I walked down the isle. I stood in front of our small congregation and made a profession of faith: that I believed that Jesus was the Son of God, I believed He died and rose again, and I believed that I needed Him for a Savior. And I really did believe that. Now time to wash those sins away. I remember one of my first thoughts when coming up out of the water: what now? All those sins are gone, does that mean I can never sin again? How can I be "good enough" for this God? How bad do I have to be to lose this salvation that I just earned by baptism? These were all subconscious questions I had. They weren't answered for a few years.
So fast-forward now to those teenage years. Several years of attempting to "be good" had found me flat on my face. I had failed so many times. I didn't even desire righteousness. I made my own form of it. I supposed that there were people out there who were much worse than me, so I must be doing okay-even though my soul knew I wasn't okay. I won't lie to you, I was tormented. I used to cry at night knowing I wasn't good enough. When I was in high school and struggling with the "friend thing" I had a thought that I would rather be dead. I never tried to accomplish that-I just wanted it. Yet through the day, I wore a confident face for my family and justified everything I did to myself and others. I never would have described myself as "empty" like I know that it was now. I just didn't know.
After learning the ways of the world through a miserable relationship with a man, I decided that it was time to change myself. I resolved to be better. God brought a wonderful man into my life. He was everything that I wanted, but he was also something that I hated--Baptist. My thoughts on denominational lines now are different, but that is another subject for another time. I went to some of his church gatherings and he came to some of mine. In less than a year of knowing him, I knew that I would marry him-but I would never go to a Baptist church!
God has a great sense of humor. But I digress.
My husband and his family introduced me to the doctrine of grace. This was something totally new for me. I didn't remember hearing much about it growing up. I struggled with it at first--because it is a totally un-natural, radical thing. I asked a lot of questions but still couldn't grasp the idea that I could accept Christ as my savior and then live my life any way I wanted and I would still be His. Asinine. For the record-I still don't believe that, but I understand now the transforming power of grace and how God takes a heart of stone from us and transforms it into a living, warm heart of flesh. Remember when I talked about laying the ground wire and letting God flip the switch? It's coming soon. All of the things that I learned about God over the years, all of the things that were continuing to wire me was about to be activated by God. In all of my questioning and confusion, He led me to this verse:
Ephesians 2:8-9 "For by grace you have been saved through faith, and that not of yourselves; it is a gift of God and not by works, lest any man can boast."
I didn't read that and say: "oooh! I get it!" No, when I read that I realized that what I had believed all of these years could possibly be wrong. So one night, somewhere between 1992 and 1994-I don't even remember if it was spring, summer, whatever- I was lying in bed crying. I prayed to God and told Him that I didn't know what was true, but I just wanted Him. And I wanted truth. I needed Him to open my eyes and show me because my "self" wasn't figuring this out and I certainly had never had the peace I desired. God is faithful. And when we humble ourselves before Him, He gives us what we really need. He knew that this was the cry of my heart and that it was genuine. That night, I believe that He performed a work in me. I believe that the next morning I woke up with a clean slate. The work of baptism that I hoped to wash my sins away failed, but my desires were accomplished by a simple act of faith. I didn't know it immediately, but I began to see God change me. I lost the desire for some of the music I once loved. My thoughts in other areas had changed. Others noticed a difference and commented on it. I wasn't super-Christian, flying around with my sword of righteousness--no it was a bit more subtle than that. But it was a change. And I knew something that I had never known before: I was His forever. Nothing I did was ever going to change that. My dirty self was now clothed in the righteousness of Christ and one day I would show up at the gates wearing His righteousness-not my own. And when I got there and He asked me "Why should I let you into my heaven?" I would start to speak and Jesus would interrupt and say:
"Father, this one is Mine. I did all of the work for her, she simply believed."
I now believe that salvation doesn't depend on what kind of church you go to. We attend a Baptist church simply because we like it and find it to be Biblically sound. But I have learned that my beliefs don't have to lie within Baptist boundaries-just Biblical ones. God has used the past 19ish years to transform me, mold me, and change my wrong-headed thinking on many things. And I am still open to that. I am learning all of the time. (Hence the blog title) Despite the things I don't know, I still know one thing for sure: I am His forever and nothing will change that. Nothing, self included, can remove me from His hand. Amazing love. I have found rest from my works in the arms of a loving Savior.
Do you rest in Him too?
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